August 16, 2009
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I’m Special
Featured Grownups offered the writing prompt: What makes you so special? The impetus behind it was a query about what is the greatest problem plaguing Americans’ psyches. The consensus among psychologists is that this most prominent malady is malignant self-love, or in a singular term, narcissism.
I would not say I’m a narcissist. To whatever extent I love myself, it’s not malignant. It’s not harming myself or others. At the same time, I don’t think I have a lack of self-love. (I mean the emotional and not physical variety, if you’re thinking like that). I do think I’m special, and I’m happy to tell you why.
For one thing, I’m intelligent. I mean, I’m really smart. Mensa material, even. I have a photographic memory and a mind like a steel trap. I retain facts both useful and useless. I wield a prodigious vocabulary. I seek to boldly split infinitives as they’ve never been split before, knowing exactly what that means. I can tell why “swimming” is a gerund, and why the correct spelling is y’all, not ya’ll.
But in the pursuit of true specialness, I decided to use this vast cerebral power for the good of humanity, and become a teacher. Even more special, I teach middle school. Anyone who has a 12-14-year-old child, or who knows a 12-14-year-old child, or has been a 12-14-year-old child, knows how especially special middle school teachers are.
But most special of all is the fact I’m a father. Now listen. There are millions of fathers– it doesn’t take anything special to become one, as anyone familiar with the process knows– but I did not become a father in the usual manner. I married into four children, one with special needs, and then adopted the oldest, instantly becoming legal father of a teenage daughter. That’s special.
I’m also a special writer, a special blogger, a special sports fan. You name it, I’m special at it. I wrote this post especially to tell you how special I am. I could go on, but then I would be narcissistic– a quality which, apparently, is not so special.
Comments (7)
I would think that self-hate, low self esteem, things that often go hand and hand with depression would be a more common malady than excessive self-love (although narcissicm is probably harder to treat – I’ve known a few, they can do no wrong, and don’t hear you when you tell them they have).
But, yeah man, middle school teachers are the best (at least mine were). Middle school was my favorite of all the schools, specifically ninth grade, which where I went to school was still middle school (technically, in NYC, what we called “jr. high” went through ninth, and highschools also started in ninth, so you could choose which year to graduate – I stayed in glorious Jr. High School).
Also on the self-hating, I’m a chronic self-hater, often too scared of looking conceited to say anything good about myself, but I have learned over the years that its good to be self-honest, about your weaknesses (the easy part for me), but also your strenghts. You know what they are (if you’re not a narcissist), so you should admit it (at least to yourself, but also to others).
I agree that middle school teachers are “especially special” … nobody gets out of middle school unscathed, so to make the decision to go back there and on purpose, no less, has to mean that one is special.
Jason, this post was hilarious. I totally enjoyed it. In fact, you could even say that I found it special.
Ahh the great debate of “the correct spelling is y’all, not ya’ll”, one of the many things I will never forget about you!! – Carrie
Baby, you are very special!! I REALLY enjoyed this post and laughed quite often. This is why I was attracted to you to begin with. Your ability to convey your thoughts to others in such a way that not only gets your point across (articulately and elequantly) but yet still be humorous is a true gift!
Simply put, you are special and I know four children who would whole heartedly agree with me on that.
You are linked.
You made me smile, Jason.
I agree about the teaching thing. As a whole, I tend to very strongly dislike teachers. As individuals, I tend to really like teachers. (Sounds rather contradictory, I know.) I have teachers in my family… aunt & uncle. I have no use for them. They are some of the most self centered people I’ve ever met in my life and I had a whole mess of really lousy teachers growing up… seemed like I was always the kid with the target on their back to catch all the teacher’s shit. I had a couple of teachers I really liked. One was my 5th grade teacher. I liked her, because… I liked her. And I liked her despite the fact that she kicked me in the ass when I needed it. (And in 5th grade I needed it, lol.) My favorite teacher of all time was my 6th grade teacher. I’m still in contact with him to this day. He was my favorite teacher, not because he taught me any serious life lessons or gave me a desire to learn or anything like that. He did nothing more than just like me for being me… that was something I had never gotten from a teacher before. (He was also my first male teacher, which I think was a huge part of it.)
My lil brother is becoming a teacher… his wife is a teacher. Two of my good friends… teachers.
I’ve considered it… but have no patience for going to school (something I’ve always hated) and I’m probably a little too rough around the edges to hold the position, quite honestly.
But I still work with kids. That’s something, right?
@warweasel - Yes, that is something. It means a lot in my book. Glad I could make you smile