But neither did we. Alas, none of us are among those claiming that $380M Mega Millions jackpot.

Then again, it’s not always a good thing to win the lottery. (Seriously, if you’ve never read that story, you need to. Every year I get to warp enlighten the minds of seventh-graders and guarantee it’s the one story we read all year that they’ll never forget).

Day 1 of Semester 2 is over and done, and Teach is happy for it. But I’m tired and my back hurts– and again that’s a story for another time.

The great thing about teaching is you get a new year twice. The new school year in August, and then the new calendar year with the new semester.

Not having fun making seating charts at the moment.

So I came to one of those momentous life decisions today. I decided, after much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth, that I am going to put off graduate school for another… six years or so. This was after it took me two attempts during the past two summers to finish one graduate course, and added over $100 a month to my student loan payments. Ugh.

I can’t help feeling like a bit of a failure. I have had to concede that I can’t do everything. I can’t succeed at everything I want to do, at least for the forseeable future, and that’s difficult for me to accept. But I had to weigh costs versus benefits. The costs would be the loss of all my time, time with my wife and kids, time to devote to doing my job well, as well of, of course, five digits more in student loan debt. The benefits would be the satisfaction of accomplishing something I’d initially set out to do over a decade ago, and a significant bump in salary– IF our (teachers’) pay structure does not get changed, which is completely uncertain at this juncture. We already know that steps (increases for years of experience) are frozen next year, but levels (increases for level of education) are still in effect– but only for next year. Beyond that, we can’t know; but we know that there’s a lot of anti-public education, anti-teacher (or at least, anti-teachers’ union) sentiment right now, and people in high places (Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, etc.) advocating on the anti- side. Mr. Gates says that a master’s degree doesn’t make you a better teacher. For the next two-thirds of a decade at least, I hope he’s right.

It’s weird to come to this decision at this particular moment, as I try to resurrect this blog, which I created after completing my first semester of grad school. My first full year on Xanga (2001) saw me grow disillusioned with my situation and end of leaving school about a year short of earning my Master’s… and I never did, and now I know I won’t until my mid-40s at the earliest. 

But that’s OK. I know it’s for the best. Unlike that last time, this decision is made because of more people than just myself. Right now being a husband, father, teacher, and marginally-aspiring writer is much more important than being a graduate student– because I can’t do them all. 

As for today, there’s not much to say for it. Staff meeting all morning, lunch, staff training all afternoon. Barely any time in my room. I can’t even say right now what the lesson plans for Wednesday will be, but you know what? That’s OK too.

Back to work tomorrow, though no students until Wednesday.

That’s all I’ve got for now… do I need to set a 20-word limit on these?

Just wanted to write that date once. Going to borrow from myself today (would that be autoplagiarism?)

New Year’s Resolution

I resolve
To live this year
And each one hence
Inside that one
Brief shining moment
Where all was good
All was joy
All was love.
Can you build your life
Inside a moment?
Can you stand breathless
but resolute
Upon the battlements of the sandcastle
As high tide rushes in?
Can you make your world
Within the globe of the soap bubble
As it wafts perilously on the summer breeze?
The past without
And the future within
Is the eternal present.
Here is no fear, no doubt;
No loss, no pain, no death.
Here is the life you always imagined
Finally experienced
In this one transcendent moment,
Captured forever
And gone in an instant
Both at once.
A fantasy you say?
Are sandcastles and soap bubbles not real?
And is not our mind’s resolve
Far stronger than either?